I've had some advice about rings for young men spread across a few posts, but it's worth consolidating into an effortpost.
1. A ring is not an investment. New cars lose half their value when they drive off the lot: jewelry will lose even more.
Unless you are purchasing some investment-grade rock, where the price after hours of fighting still works out to $30,000+, you don't have a stone that's rare. It has very little value in the competitive market – especially in your hands.
If the day comes to scrap the ring, it's very unlikely anyone will ever care about anything other than the metal. People are upset when I tell them the diamond they had appraised at $6,000 only costs me $1,500 to buy. Why should I buy theirs? I don’t even want a diamond!
2. A diamond is not forever. They crack as easily as 25¢ quartz. The only thing that makes a diamond special is it's resistant to scratching and has a high refractive index, meaning it sparkles better when cut flatter.
Diamonds routinely break by being struck on the girdle (line separating the top and the bottom, where it is set). It happens bumping into a supermarket checkout, a cart, hitting the porcelain sink, and all kinds of ways.
If you want to protect a stone, bezel set it. Everything was bezel set before 150 years ago. It costs a teeny bit more in metal but avoids all the hazards of side damage and lost stones. You lose a little light but gain peace of mind.
3. With that out of the way, consider a different stone. You can do a lot of nice things with color gems on a smaller budget. And a smaller cost means you will be less pressured to get into the jewelry insurance scam.
The average wedding ring can be purchased three times over during the course of a marriage for what people pay in jewelry insurance.
4. Never buy off the shelf. A pre-made ring has far more loaded onto the cost. You have the store's profit, the salesperson's commission, the profit of the design house, their sales rep, the gem broker, the gold broker, and the casting house. At least.
There often is little room to negotiate because some of the design companies pursue legal action against jewelers who go under the MSRP.
Buy the stone you want to see her wearing.
Go to a gem show if you want the best price. Never order from eBay sellers in India unless you plan on having me recut it. There are cutters on Etsy who can get you a bomb-ass American cut and American mined sapphire for $500 or less.
Once you have the stone, have it set. Find a local jeweler who is an actual bench jeweler, not a retailer under the Sterling-Signet brand. Who is under that brand? Anyone you have ever seen advertised:
- Blue Nile
- Belden
- Ernest Jones
- Goodman
- H. Samuel
- James Allen
- Jared
- JB Robinson
- Kay
- LeRoy's
- Leslie Davis
- Mappins
- Marks & Morgan Jewelers
- Osterman
- Peoples Jewellers
- Rogers
- Shaw's
- Weisfield
- Zales
Your local guy can either hook you up with custom wax or get a pre-made setting you like and set the stone according to your budget.
It doesn't cost much unless you do something stupid like surround the entire band in tiny diamonds so she has a million prongs poking her fingers and you are forever paying as stones fall out.
5. Don't do novelty metals. They are all going to be a nightmare as you go through life and accidents happen.
Those cool inlay rings you see? They are all held together with super glue and will fall apart when exposed to years of showers, dish soap, and a couple spilled shots of whiskey. It's in the fine print. And you can never resize them.
That titanium or tungsten band is going to be a problem when the fire department is called to the hospital. I’ve personally had to train emergency staff on how to saw through these metals with a Dremel and carbide tools because the doctor wanted to deglove someone’s finger, destroy their nerves, and leave them with Frankenstein scars when the firemen failed.
Palladium looks cool until the ring shatters from repeat contact with chlorine at the pool.
Just get silver, gold, or platinum. Everyone knows what to do with them and has the tools.
6. White gold, especially 14K white, is a money pit to pay for rhodium plating. Rhodium is at $8,750 an ounce right now, and a jar of plating solution is a $35,000 investment for a jewelry shop. Think about the cost in 10 or 20 years.
18K and platinum are about the same price, and are only a slight one-time premium. They pay for themselves within five years, and the metal holds more value.
7. If she says yes but starts complaining about the ring you picked a few weeks later, drop the bitch.
You have a fundamental mismatch in aesthetics. Even worse, she is extremely vulnerable to social pressure. That's dangerous these days. She'll probably try and trans your kids.
The shit test of the engagement goes both ways. If she loves the thought you put into the ring and loves that it came from you, you should have a long and happy future together.
Good luck out there!